Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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