I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
