Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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