i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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