I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
