Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize