we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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