He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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