the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
