I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
