i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
