dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize