There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
