oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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