I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
