how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
