Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
