Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
