what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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