I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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