Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
