Its about making memories worth repressing
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
