We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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