So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
