He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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