Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
