Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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