Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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