"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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