So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
