you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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