I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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