you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
