Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you had me at cake vodka
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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