I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just pee around me
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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