Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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