Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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