I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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