It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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