eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
