Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize