Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
They took my balls.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I deserve this hangover.
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