are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
