I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
