38 yer olds are good kisserssss
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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