problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
whose parrot is this?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
