oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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