Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
