remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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