The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
