He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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