Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
