Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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