**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
