I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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