i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
