Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
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BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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