come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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